


i don't want to be a mom yet

by rockybluewigs (zekeshaolin)



Category: Victorious
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zekeshaolin/pseuds/rockybluewigs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I stand in the chilly night, looking at her straight in the eye as I literally sob the words, 'I don't want to be a mom yet.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't want to be a mom yet

That's the  _last_  thing I want to see right now; those damn pink plus signs, staring back at me menacingly. I don't know how I got to this predicament either. However the taste of leftover bile from an hour ago and the reminder of the stupid, regretful,  _unprotected_  moment between me and my newly acclaimed boyfriend gives me a mental reminder that yes, indeed, I am pregnant.

But I'm not ready for this. I'm only seventeen, with everything to live for. I was also hoping to get on that Brain Squeezers game show with Tori, ever since she said she's a captain on the show. However with the mental reminder that I may barf on screen makes my stomach churn again and I find myself violently vomiting what I ate for the day again.

After the dry heaving ceases, they turn into gasps, and sobs, as I realize my unfortunate fate; I'm pregnant. I'm going to be fat. I will be moody, and nauseous, and dizzy, and little kids will mistake me for a beach ball. I'll lose my figure. Everyone will think of me as the slut, and whisper behind my back. Hell - someone might make the joke that I may bail and eventually kill my child. I'm not that evil; I would never kill someone... or animals. Maiming and killing are two different things. Although I'd never maim my child either.

Another joke would be that the child may be a sociopath, with blank stares whenever he or she's supposed to feel emotion. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm only stone faced because my  _real_  emotions are a wreck.

I need to tell someone about this. My parents are definitely out of the question - they'll kick me out without any regret, since their only daughter would soil the family name by getting pregnant at seventeen. Hypocrisy at it's best - I was born when my mom was  _sixteen_.

Beck - he'd be devastated if he found out our little mistake. He is the father, but it's been two weeks since and shit... just forget it. I'll tell him when I'm good and ready, and if I would keep this child. Now, I'm nowhere  _near_ good, nor ready.

Andre - he would understand, but I'm not taking any chances... he might blab about it to Beck, and that's just a problem.

Cat - ugh, she's too air-headed to understand. She'll get distracted by something (particularly a color in her room or something) and the concern is long gone. She might even call herself  _god-mommy_. Just no... I'm not even sure if I'm keeping it.

What about Tori? She's always been there for me, even with my bitchy attitude. She's forgiven me when I dumped coffee on her head, when I feigned an injury so she can get in trouble, she lets my impersonations of her slide sometimes... she even denied a kiss from Beck when she knew she could have him anytime when we were broken up, because of me.

Of course she would understand. I just hope she won't think of this as a ploy to get into the game show.

Without thinking, I grab the pregnancy sticks from the floor and make myself look presentable - emotionless - and leave the house to go over to a friend's ( _kinda_ ) house.

.

.

.

I knock on the door, but as soon as I did, I couldn't stop crying. It's also the perfect moment for Hollywood to start raining as I stand there in front of the door, and I have no umbrella or any jacket of any sorts. I'm barely getting wet with the house's cover over me, but a cold rush of air hits me, and I start to shiver. The cold hits me faster than it should; I knew I should have grabbed a jacket on the way here, but since this is basically hot LA, I resent it.

What's taking her so long to open the door?

I almost turn around to leave until I feel a bright light shine upon me. I sniffle; feeling a potential cold coming on.

"Jade?"

I turn my head towards Tori, almost regretting coming over here. She looks busy, with her glasses that she fails to wear outside her house. She has a concerned face, usually reserved for those she cares about.

"I shouldn't have come here but I had no one else to talk to," I say truthfully, holding another round of tears.

"What - what's wrong? You can tell me," she reassures, with her calm but concerned voice.

My resolve crumbles, and I start to sob again, possibly harder than before; "I don't want to be a  _mom_  yet."

Tori's face changes from concern to shock in a matter of seconds. "Oh god," she whispers. I almost know what's she's going to say, something along the lines of—

"Come in. You'll catch cold."

I wasn't expecting that, but with reluctance, I enter the familiar Vega home, away from the chilly air and the sudden darkness that takes over me while I stood in front of a door, hoping that no one but Tori Vega would open the door tonight. I sit on the opposite side of the foyer, and start to cry again.

The Latina walks over to me and embraces me in a friendly, comforting hug. The simple act warms me up in a matter of seconds; she's always so warm, physically and emotionally, and sometimes I feel that I never give her the correct respect that she needs. It's usually unlike me to do so, for anyone at least, but the thing about everyone else and Tori is that she sticks around; she sees me as a challenge and she immediately takes it, despite how hard it is. No one else would dare to cross my path.

She sees me as almost like the boss level in the video game; where I'm the main one that's fucking shit up, and she tries to defeat me, with so many tries that it would seem possible to say that Tori is a fighter, and I'm absolutely nothing to her when it comes to that. She just wants me to be her friend, and I've accepted her the minute she denied a kiss from my then-ex-boyfriend, saying she couldn't do that to a friend. As much as I can say she's not my friend, she holds a special place in my heart.

We stay like that for a couple of minutes, until the tears dry up and I'm just left with an ashy feeling on my cheeks. My sobs subside to whimpers, and sniffles (yeah, I'm definitely getting a cold) and the house is quiet, except for the small pounding of the rain outside.

"Are you sure?" She asks me all of a sudden.

I sigh, and reveal one of the used pregnancy tests, showing her the pink plus sign. "And there's more where that came from." I remove myself from Tori's warm embrace, but suddenly feel cold again. "I was so stupid, thinking that having sex without any protection would not come with this consequence. I just had to do it... since, you know, we broke up and I haven't had any intimacy with anyone throughout that state of singledom. It was two weeks ago... Just now I started puking my guts out before I got here."

"Ew," she mutters.

I turn around and frown. "I don't even know what I should do... should I keep it, or should I—"

"What do  _you_   _want_  to do?" Tori asks in a retort, giving me that concerned look again.

I shrug sadly, feeling another round of tears coming. "I know he would be angry at me for making that mistake, and everyone around me would look at me differently. I'll be the biggest slut of Hollywood Arts, and most of my friends would stop talking to me. I'll be fat, and hormonal, and  _god_ , I might be eating combinations of food that would make Robbie's sensitive stomach churn."

"It's not entirely your fault you know," she frowns back. "If he knew what was best, he should have used protection. And I'm pretty sure everyone would be there for you. If not, then I will. And don't worry, you'll get your figure back with  _extensive_  exercise." The last part makes me smile a little. "But if you really don't want to do this, then there is another option. And I won't hate you for it either. Although I'll be a little disappointed that I won't be god-mommy."

"I expected that from Cat!" I exclaim. "Are you sure that's the only other option I can take?"

"Do what you want to do. Personally I'd go with the former, but this is your body," she answers, and puts a hand on my shoulder. I sigh and remove the hand, only to grab on it with both of my hands.

Even though I don't know what to do, I know I have at least one person who would still be there for me with any choice I would make, and even if it's unlikely, I can accept that. Now that's a real person. " _Thank you_ , Tori."

"Anytime."

 


End file.
